TINKLE TOWN: A teenager was spotted loitering around her kitchen, cooking up some weird concoction and causing a lot of commotion in general. When asked, the girl, who identified herself as Ina Halbe, said she was prepping a meal for a visiting relative.
According to our sources, on further inquiry, it came to light that the young girl had never cooked before. A witness who wished to remain anonymous said, “It looked like a disfigured clump of monster snot atop two slices of burned bread. We haven’t been able to identify what the spread is yet.” Given her suspicious activity around the kitchen, we feel this might be an active attempt to poison the unsuspecting relative.